Through the Cross
From the heart of a single woman:
I don't know if there's a lesson in this for everybody. Hopefully, you can find truth in it to apply to an area of your life that you need it in. For me, this was so personal and tender that I didn't want to write about it, but it was so life bringing for me that I decided to share. God has been bringing an image before my eyes for a few months now, and the more I turn my eyes upon Him, the clearer the image burns and the more specific its purpose becomes. I see His cross, and I see myself sitting behind it. I see a person approaching the cross from the other side, but I don't get up. I just let them move toward the cross, and I stay sitting behind it. The Lord has been teaching me about pursuit and propriety in relationships for months now, and keeps pressing it into my heart that my place is hidden behind Him, not peering out around Him and trying to take control or reaching beyond the limit of His grasp. Telling me to trust Him to bring the right things to me through His cross.
I've learned that the pursuit for my heart can't be led by emotions. A man can't just pursue and chase based on what emotional response they're getting, what physical or tangible response they're seeing from me. Those things are there and they're beautiful in their proper time, but they can never be the foundation of something. The pursuit happens despite those things, because the pursuit that God calls a man to do in regard to the right woman will be marked by a love and devotion and a sacrifice in all seasons, in all movements of the chase. The pursuit moves through those seasons, the seasons where trust is built, where God's approval is sought, where a foundation is laid, where hearts are knit together, where parts of us die in order to welcome the other person in. When a pursuit isn't from the Lord, the love through the seasons, through the stages and the times won't happen, because the confirmation will be driven by looking for the emotional or visible response. When God moves a man to seek that woman, the man will seek no matter what he sees, because the work God is doing in the two begins in the invisible, in the spirit and in the soul, and the right man will know and obey that.
When the pursuit is right, honorable, and surrendered to the Lord, you don't have to worry. You won't have to worry about whether they're pursuing you honestly, or hanging with other girls on the side. You won't have to worry about whether or not they're going to pursue you with honor and guard your purity, because if they're seeking the Lord in it He will give them that love for you. You won't have to worry that the man will say he is going to fast and pray regarding you, and then forget and move on, drift off, or not carry through. You won't have to worry about proving anything, because the Spirit will create understanding and truth. You will be able to relax and just love on your Savior and rest as He orchestrates it. The right person will pursue you, because as they seek God, God will show them how to pursue you. He will show them what you need. You won't have to step off of your foundation. You won't have to climb back into the coffin that God has lifted you out of. You won't have to go back over bridges that you burned in the name of the Lord. You won't have to explain or beg or manipulate, because the Lord will communicate in your place as He guards you and leads the right man.
I hear His Spirit speaking this to me all of the time, saying: "Emily, stand, stand stand. Don't lay down in the grave again, wait behind Me, hide behind My cross, let Me bring the man through the cross to you. Let them chase Me and find you standing behind My arms. Do not step out in front of Me, wait behind my cross. Let Me motivate him to chase you, let Me show him how to reach you and the ways he needs to pursue you. Let them see Me and I will reveal you to him when and only when He seeks Me first to claim your heart. Do not step out, do not lay down, stay on our foundation. Stand with Me, let Me lead him to you, my daughter. Wait, wait, wait, let Me show you, let Me guide him, just keep your eyes on Me. Only when he chases Me will I let him find you, will I let him find your heart, will I show him how to pursue you as he pursues Me. Don't go backwards, trust Me to show him how to catch up to you. Let him go through My cross to get to you, through the cross, through the cross. Stay behind it, Emily, so that he must go through Me. Trust Me, Emily, trust Me to guide him. Trust Me to move him the right way, trust Me to show him how to go, what to do, what to die to. Keep your eyes on Me, focus on Me."
I realized I've grown when I wanted to follow His leading rather than take things into my own hands again. I knew I had grown when I loved the peace I found at those words. I knew I had grown when heat and power and excitement came forth at those words, rather than the dread of having to be patient. My Jesus is too beautiful. I've learned that my place is behind His cross, and that He moves this world and the people in it. I've learned to let Him paint the story He wants to paint, because I want the beauty of the words He speaks over my life and I want the path He will trace for me when I let Him love me and I stay with Him instead of running away. I've learned to love following the peace He gives instead of chasing the things He removes. I love seeing Him knit together the mysteries that I question in my mind. I've learned to stop questioning and fretting over His process, and to look forward to the overflow of pure joy that comes when I follow and revelation pours out as a result. I've learned to let Him wash my eyes and give me Heaven's eyes. I've learned that as I put things back into their place and remove them from positions where they become idolized, God is able to bless me with those things since they're no longer idols. I've learned to love Him first, and I've seen how He can now give me more since I've learned to keep Him first (the best part is, you're so in love with Him at that point, you don't even care if He ever gives you anything else).
I don't know when the right relationship will come, but I'm so in love with the fact that my Savior loves me enough to do this for me. I'm so in love with the fact that He loves me despite all that I am and all of the distractions I've pursued. I'm so in love with that fact that He's teaching me how to love Him and give everything to Him. I'm in love with the fact that I get to love Him, get to know Him, get to be His.
Stand behind the cross and burn bright for your Lord. He will use the fire in your heart for Him as a beacon for the things that are seeking His face in order to find you. Keep your eyes on your Savior and give Him all of your love.
I don't know if there's a lesson in this for everybody. Hopefully, you can find truth in it to apply to an area of your life that you need it in. For me, this was so personal and tender that I didn't want to write about it, but it was so life bringing for me that I decided to share. God has been bringing an image before my eyes for a few months now, and the more I turn my eyes upon Him, the clearer the image burns and the more specific its purpose becomes. I see His cross, and I see myself sitting behind it. I see a person approaching the cross from the other side, but I don't get up. I just let them move toward the cross, and I stay sitting behind it. The Lord has been teaching me about pursuit and propriety in relationships for months now, and keeps pressing it into my heart that my place is hidden behind Him, not peering out around Him and trying to take control or reaching beyond the limit of His grasp. Telling me to trust Him to bring the right things to me through His cross.
I've learned that the pursuit for my heart can't be led by emotions. A man can't just pursue and chase based on what emotional response they're getting, what physical or tangible response they're seeing from me. Those things are there and they're beautiful in their proper time, but they can never be the foundation of something. The pursuit happens despite those things, because the pursuit that God calls a man to do in regard to the right woman will be marked by a love and devotion and a sacrifice in all seasons, in all movements of the chase. The pursuit moves through those seasons, the seasons where trust is built, where God's approval is sought, where a foundation is laid, where hearts are knit together, where parts of us die in order to welcome the other person in. When a pursuit isn't from the Lord, the love through the seasons, through the stages and the times won't happen, because the confirmation will be driven by looking for the emotional or visible response. When God moves a man to seek that woman, the man will seek no matter what he sees, because the work God is doing in the two begins in the invisible, in the spirit and in the soul, and the right man will know and obey that.
When the pursuit is right, honorable, and surrendered to the Lord, you don't have to worry. You won't have to worry about whether they're pursuing you honestly, or hanging with other girls on the side. You won't have to worry about whether or not they're going to pursue you with honor and guard your purity, because if they're seeking the Lord in it He will give them that love for you. You won't have to worry that the man will say he is going to fast and pray regarding you, and then forget and move on, drift off, or not carry through. You won't have to worry about proving anything, because the Spirit will create understanding and truth. You will be able to relax and just love on your Savior and rest as He orchestrates it. The right person will pursue you, because as they seek God, God will show them how to pursue you. He will show them what you need. You won't have to step off of your foundation. You won't have to climb back into the coffin that God has lifted you out of. You won't have to go back over bridges that you burned in the name of the Lord. You won't have to explain or beg or manipulate, because the Lord will communicate in your place as He guards you and leads the right man.
I hear His Spirit speaking this to me all of the time, saying: "Emily, stand, stand stand. Don't lay down in the grave again, wait behind Me, hide behind My cross, let Me bring the man through the cross to you. Let them chase Me and find you standing behind My arms. Do not step out in front of Me, wait behind my cross. Let Me motivate him to chase you, let Me show him how to reach you and the ways he needs to pursue you. Let them see Me and I will reveal you to him when and only when He seeks Me first to claim your heart. Do not step out, do not lay down, stay on our foundation. Stand with Me, let Me lead him to you, my daughter. Wait, wait, wait, let Me show you, let Me guide him, just keep your eyes on Me. Only when he chases Me will I let him find you, will I let him find your heart, will I show him how to pursue you as he pursues Me. Don't go backwards, trust Me to show him how to catch up to you. Let him go through My cross to get to you, through the cross, through the cross. Stay behind it, Emily, so that he must go through Me. Trust Me, Emily, trust Me to guide him. Trust Me to move him the right way, trust Me to show him how to go, what to do, what to die to. Keep your eyes on Me, focus on Me."
I realized I've grown when I wanted to follow His leading rather than take things into my own hands again. I knew I had grown when I loved the peace I found at those words. I knew I had grown when heat and power and excitement came forth at those words, rather than the dread of having to be patient. My Jesus is too beautiful. I've learned that my place is behind His cross, and that He moves this world and the people in it. I've learned to let Him paint the story He wants to paint, because I want the beauty of the words He speaks over my life and I want the path He will trace for me when I let Him love me and I stay with Him instead of running away. I've learned to love following the peace He gives instead of chasing the things He removes. I love seeing Him knit together the mysteries that I question in my mind. I've learned to stop questioning and fretting over His process, and to look forward to the overflow of pure joy that comes when I follow and revelation pours out as a result. I've learned to let Him wash my eyes and give me Heaven's eyes. I've learned that as I put things back into their place and remove them from positions where they become idolized, God is able to bless me with those things since they're no longer idols. I've learned to love Him first, and I've seen how He can now give me more since I've learned to keep Him first (the best part is, you're so in love with Him at that point, you don't even care if He ever gives you anything else).
I don't know when the right relationship will come, but I'm so in love with the fact that my Savior loves me enough to do this for me. I'm so in love with the fact that He loves me despite all that I am and all of the distractions I've pursued. I'm so in love with that fact that He's teaching me how to love Him and give everything to Him. I'm in love with the fact that I get to love Him, get to know Him, get to be His.
Stand behind the cross and burn bright for your Lord. He will use the fire in your heart for Him as a beacon for the things that are seeking His face in order to find you. Keep your eyes on your Savior and give Him all of your love.
Comments
Post a Comment