Labor Pains
Lately, God has been putting me through a process that He told me is a "planting season." In this season, He told me that He's putting seeds in me and He's bringing new life to them and through them- but that I won't see the growth from those seeds yet. Recently, as I've spoken to others about what this season of life looks like for them, I've found that a lot of people are either in a season of growth or a season of frustration...or a season of both.
So I want to talk about growing.
I spend a lot of time worrying that I'm not growing spiritually "fast enough" or "well enough." In my mind, I have to somehow force myself to grow and mature so that I won't "miss" the things that God has for me. While this fear seems logical when I'm focusing on it, it actually doesn't make any sense. 1 Corinthians 3:8 says "so neither the one who plants or the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow." So before anybody even worries that they have to create growth in themselves or try to put forth effort to create change in your own life, just don't. We can't, actually. We obey God, but only He can develop our hearts. Secondly, the Lord and His timing are sovereign, so worrying about missing His plans for your life is ridiculous (if you're deliberately staying in His will and being obedient to Him).
So I want to talk about growing.
I spend a lot of time worrying that I'm not growing spiritually "fast enough" or "well enough." In my mind, I have to somehow force myself to grow and mature so that I won't "miss" the things that God has for me. While this fear seems logical when I'm focusing on it, it actually doesn't make any sense. 1 Corinthians 3:8 says "so neither the one who plants or the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow." So before anybody even worries that they have to create growth in themselves or try to put forth effort to create change in your own life, just don't. We can't, actually. We obey God, but only He can develop our hearts. Secondly, the Lord and His timing are sovereign, so worrying about missing His plans for your life is ridiculous (if you're deliberately staying in His will and being obedient to Him).
When I was going through that cycle of fear and wanting to try to somehow control my own growth, I was reminded of a quote from one of my favorite books, The Screwtape Letters. The quote says "...It is during trough periods, much more than during peak periods, that [humans are] growing into the sort of creatures He wants them to be...He wants them to learn to walk, and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles" (CS Lewis). I was reminded so strongly by these words that the Lord is pleased by our desire to grow and our desire to draw close to Him. When we are willing to grow and be close to Him, He's happy; He's not evaluating our progress and tapping His foot, annoyed that we're not "doing a better job." We say yes to Him, and then He brings growth and carries us through the stumbling of the growing process.
Once I learned that and began to relax, He began to teach me about growing.
The first thing that I learned was this: God wants our hearts focused on loving Him, not focused on our shortcomings. You see, life isn't about us. Life isn't about what parts of us are weak and what parts of us are strong. Life is about glorifying Him, because He is perfect and without fault. However, we can't focus on His beauty and glory when we're fixated on all of the things that we want to improve about ourselves. When we focus on our own strengths and weaknesses, what we accidentally do is create an idol of ourselves - yes, even if we're focusing on ourselves in a negative way. We're still consumed with ourselves and who we are, when we should be consumed with Christ and who He is.
However, I've found that something amazing happens when we throw in the towel and say "you know what God, I have some things in me that aren't great, but all that my heart really wants is you. Will you help me know you better and be closer to you?" With that, we're able to take our focus off of ourselves and put it on Him, where it belongs. When we do this, suddenly we look back one day and find that He's grown us in those areas that weren't changing when we were fixated on them. Those problems, habits, weaknesses or whatever else that we thought we would never outgrow or find freedom from are suddenly just...gone. Which brings me to my second point.
However, I've found that something amazing happens when we throw in the towel and say "you know what God, I have some things in me that aren't great, but all that my heart really wants is you. Will you help me know you better and be closer to you?" With that, we're able to take our focus off of ourselves and put it on Him, where it belongs. When we do this, suddenly we look back one day and find that He's grown us in those areas that weren't changing when we were fixated on them. Those problems, habits, weaknesses or whatever else that we thought we would never outgrow or find freedom from are suddenly just...gone. Which brings me to my second point.
Another misconception I had about growing was that if I just prayed hard enough, God would snap His fingers and immediately change that thing that I wanted Him to change. Can He speak to something and change it immediately? Absolutely. Does He usually do that? No.
God tends to grow us by taking us through experiences and teaching us about Himself, not by changing things right away. So something else that God taught me in this season was the effect of pouring out prayer continually over a long period of time. I saw that the growth that comes from praying into a situation over days, months, or years is similar to the process of labor and birth.
In labor, you have to breathe through the rough hours of pain that builds and subsides. At points it feels like it will never end, but you keep breathing, keep pushing, and keep pouring out prayer. Then after a while, after all of that struggle, you're suddenly face to face with new life. Likewise, you can't snap your fingers and with one prayer expect spiritual growth to materialize in your life right away - there's a process you must go through to birth growth into your life. This is a time of dealing with the building and subsiding hurt of growth as God refines your heart and brings things to the surface painfully, and then removes them one by one. As they're removed, the pain subsides until He brings the next thing to the surface. As you continue to pour out prayer into your situations month after month, you don't see results - you feel the struggle. However, if you keep praying and breathing and pushing, you'll look back one day and realize that there's peace in your heart. We quit praying sometimes when we don't see results right away, but if we can just settle our hearts to trust that God hears us, we'll be able to find the courage to pray through.
So, this is what growth looks like: stumbling and falling and rising again; imperfect but resilient. Whoever said that growth is a steady ascension was a liar. If growing is anything at all, it is learning to walk through a process and to have faith that God will bring forth change from the unseen. Trust Him. Fix your eyes on Him. Push through.
God tends to grow us by taking us through experiences and teaching us about Himself, not by changing things right away. So something else that God taught me in this season was the effect of pouring out prayer continually over a long period of time. I saw that the growth that comes from praying into a situation over days, months, or years is similar to the process of labor and birth.
In labor, you have to breathe through the rough hours of pain that builds and subsides. At points it feels like it will never end, but you keep breathing, keep pushing, and keep pouring out prayer. Then after a while, after all of that struggle, you're suddenly face to face with new life. Likewise, you can't snap your fingers and with one prayer expect spiritual growth to materialize in your life right away - there's a process you must go through to birth growth into your life. This is a time of dealing with the building and subsiding hurt of growth as God refines your heart and brings things to the surface painfully, and then removes them one by one. As they're removed, the pain subsides until He brings the next thing to the surface. As you continue to pour out prayer into your situations month after month, you don't see results - you feel the struggle. However, if you keep praying and breathing and pushing, you'll look back one day and realize that there's peace in your heart. We quit praying sometimes when we don't see results right away, but if we can just settle our hearts to trust that God hears us, we'll be able to find the courage to pray through.
So, this is what growth looks like: stumbling and falling and rising again; imperfect but resilient. Whoever said that growth is a steady ascension was a liar. If growing is anything at all, it is learning to walk through a process and to have faith that God will bring forth change from the unseen. Trust Him. Fix your eyes on Him. Push through.
''We have not yet had the slightest notion of the tremendous thing He means to make of us.” -CS Lewis
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