Lover of Brokenness

Sometimes knowing that someone sees you is half of the walk to healing. So, I get it. I get that there are shards of nightmares lodged in your heart from memories of nights gone wrong that you just can’t shake. Your knees are skinned and your nails are bloody from falling down once again and clawing at the ground willing it to open and swallow you whole because you’re so sick of failing. You spend hours screaming at the stars because the sky is too big and it mocks the chasm in your head where your thoughts twist and echo and taunt you. There is frustration that burns its way up your chest, yet it sits so deep inside you, you can’t even reach it to pull it out. There are tears that slide down your face and puddle in your sheets and murmur to you that you’re just too tired to keep walking through this. 

You’re a broken thing. Some of the time, anyway.

But God is a lover of broken things.

He knows how much it kills you to look your failure in the face.

But here’s where beauty collides with the beast. God knows that being broken makes us feel filthy.  He understands that even with our flawed and cloudy vision, we can see that sin is dirty and ugly and unlovable. If we, in all of our corruption, can understand that about sin, then certainly a perfect God can understand that with even more clarity, right? So then we must eventually arrive at the realization of just how massive His love is for us. He looks at all of the things that make us unlovable, and chooses us. He looks at all of our flaws and shortcomings, and pursues us anyway. He looked at our unfaithfulness and waged a war on death for us. He loves us. Eventually, our brokenness will become our clarity. Our failure, falls, shame, perversion, and blood…will uncloud our eyes. Because we’re going to realize how mighty His love is in order to love us through all of that. 

God loves you because your weaknesses give Him room to work in you. They give Him something to comfort, and they provide a need in your heart that He can meet. Remember this the next time you think that you have sunk so deep that the light of God will never shine upon you. Remember this as you sit there covering yourself in dirt and painting shame over yourself. Remember that He is everywhere, and can reach you no matter where you hide. 

Christ knew that you were going to be the most unfaithful lover He could have chosen, yet He chose you. Christ knew that you were going to continually hurl yourself into the same grave that He already dug you out of time and time again, yet He never ceases to lift you up. Christ knew that your wicked heart would spend half of its time berating itself for being unworthy, yet He keeps whispering that He wants you anyway. Christ knew that your eyes would spend a time glancing at Him and not bothering to really see Him, yet He suffered, bled, and died for you so that He could have you. Christ knew that you were broken. That you had nothing to offer. That He would have to spend every second of your life breathing into you and consoling you when you put your hand back to the fire yet again, because try as you might you just can’t seem to learn. God looks at you and He really sees you. He’s not intimidated by your failure and the problem isn’t too big for Him to tackle. He isn’t at a loss wondering what to do and how to proceed. He’s ready to catch you and work in you.

Broken means that we have pieces missing. This realization should bring us joy because we know what the missing piece is. God is the perfect shape for every empty space. He is the sublime complement, and truth be told, He is what belonged in that space from the beginning. The substitutes that we use to fill us up may stabilize us for a time, but they will rot and revolt against us. Only God can and should rest in those spaces forever.

Take heart when looking at your failures. Galatians 2:21 says that if we were able to become righteous (or perfect) through the law (or through our own works), we would not need grace. But we do need grace, and grace is God's supply to the demand of our brokenness.

Being broken means you have the opportunity to be made whole.