Plans
I have never directly felt sympathy from God before. I know that He is
sympathetic, however, I’ve never spoken to Him about something and felt
Him sympathize with me. Today I was praying about how there’s something
that I want that I know isn’t His will for me, and how I’m having a
hard time laying it down because, well…I want it. And instead of just getting silence, or feeling reprimanded, I distinctly felt God show me pity.
He showed me that He knows it’s hard to give up what you want. He knows
it’s hard to lean on His understanding instead of our own. He knows its
hard to submit to Him, even though we know that’s the right way.
2 Samuel 24:24 “I will not offer up a sacrifice to my God which has cost me nothing.”
Knowing that God understood and felt for me made it so much easier to be obedient and to continue laying down that desire (and every other desire) every day. It reminded me that I’m not submitting to someone who wants what He wants and doesn’t care that it hurts me sometimes.
I know that God’s way is the best way. There’s no doubt about it. I’m not making excuses, but I am being realistic about a struggle. What I realized today is that I am literally leaving an entire life behind to follow Christ. If I didn’t know Him, I would judge for myself what was right and wrong, and I would do what I want and what I thought was best for me. But because I know Him, and am called to submit to Him, I must offer up every one of my desires and if He says no, that’s it. As much as I try, I literally run into a wall at some point if I keep trying to go my own way. Now, what He wants is what I must want. It’s not about me, it’s about Him.
"…you are not your own; you were bought with a price." 1:Cor. 6:19-20
This realization brought gave me a huge perspective on submission, and showed me why it’s just so hard for me to submit. It’s natural. And God understands. There are no words for how much better this makes me feel.
"In his heart a man makes his plans, but the LORD determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9
It’s still hard for me. I’m very stubborn. I’d fight to the death for something before I lay it down and walk away, even when it’s not something God wants for me. Obedience is what I’m learning this year, and my experience today makes it sweeter. Jesus, you are good.
"I know I’ve left a life behind, but I’m too relieved to grieve."
2 Samuel 24:24 “I will not offer up a sacrifice to my God which has cost me nothing.”
Knowing that God understood and felt for me made it so much easier to be obedient and to continue laying down that desire (and every other desire) every day. It reminded me that I’m not submitting to someone who wants what He wants and doesn’t care that it hurts me sometimes.
I know that God’s way is the best way. There’s no doubt about it. I’m not making excuses, but I am being realistic about a struggle. What I realized today is that I am literally leaving an entire life behind to follow Christ. If I didn’t know Him, I would judge for myself what was right and wrong, and I would do what I want and what I thought was best for me. But because I know Him, and am called to submit to Him, I must offer up every one of my desires and if He says no, that’s it. As much as I try, I literally run into a wall at some point if I keep trying to go my own way. Now, what He wants is what I must want. It’s not about me, it’s about Him.
"…you are not your own; you were bought with a price." 1:Cor. 6:19-20
This realization brought gave me a huge perspective on submission, and showed me why it’s just so hard for me to submit. It’s natural. And God understands. There are no words for how much better this makes me feel.
"In his heart a man makes his plans, but the LORD determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9
It’s still hard for me. I’m very stubborn. I’d fight to the death for something before I lay it down and walk away, even when it’s not something God wants for me. Obedience is what I’m learning this year, and my experience today makes it sweeter. Jesus, you are good.
"I know I’ve left a life behind, but I’m too relieved to grieve."
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